But you said I could keep him ...

I began this Blog a while ago. It began with the rare "Blood Disorder" diagnosis given to my youngest son. It has been a two-in-half year struggle to save him. While concentrating on him and his desire to live and our desire to save him, many things have fallen in my path. New doors opened and old doors closed. All the while reading, listening to the doctors and studying this disease and trying to understand while we live in the twenty-first century; and see no clue how to eradicate this infliction. As I mentioned before there have only been 10 cases ever reported anywhere and he is now the eleventh. How did he get it, no one knows not even our marvelous physicians. He has been treated in three (3) cities and we were met with the same response, no one has ever seen it...I am weary of the time spent under stress and the desire for a healing for my beautiful son. As I write he sleeps in his bed of his hospital room. The night is so quiet except for the rattling of the Med carts being pushed down the hall stopping at each room for nightly med doses. I lean back in my recliner next to him and close my eyes hoping sleep will find me. I can't remember the last time I got eight hours sleep, oh that would be heaven just calm happy dreams of better days. The smells of medication and the cold temperature from the air conditioner is brutal for my tired frame. As I drift off I can smell the sea air and think of my love lost  .. I wonder what happened? Yes, we are together and at the beach. The kids are all frolicking in the sand and surfing. Freckles our Cocker Spaniel is running up an down the beach barking as his curly blondes ears flap in the breeze..haha.. too cute. Oh I feel so happy and loved, all I see are smiles and hear giggles as they run past kicking the sand everywhere..How I wished I hadn't got upset and yelled to stop. For in time it would all end .. Oh God please let me sleep take me to a place where my heart sings and is free. Let me bring my family as it was; my two sons and my loves two children..those are the days I long for so please I pray give me a respite for the night and I will be forever grateful .. So grateful Father ..so grateful ...sigh