Ressurection

It's been quite a journey. Some wins, some loses. Other's went on ahead of us to our final destination. My son is still alive. By the grace of God he goes. It's not because he has embraced this miracle, as I would. He never took his meds well. Are well. Slept well. He's been living a life given as a young man, already embracing he is invincible. Instead of gratefulness, he is embracing a life he feels God has given to live to the fullest once again. No real boundaries. As a Mom, that bothers me immensely. I am still tired from the years of vigils.  Living in fear, of the call. This has been my biggest hurdle. Letting go. Stop trying to show logic. Begging him to listen to me. I mean, I have experience in such matters. I am older, a parent. I worked in the medical field most of my life. Yet, he views me as having little knowledge. How many hearts must one person receive, before, feeling the full effects of his blessings? But youth just feel protected and invincible. As a mother and a believer. I know different.

We all suffered. I stopped working to follow him from one hospital to another, in different cities. Lived in ICU\Trauma One Hospitals. Used my savings. Thank God for friends and family. But it leaves deep marks on one's soul and psyche. It has taken me a very long time to resume my blog. So much to share. So many wounds. Lost friends during the long trek. It seems so logical to those not involved. You learn the ones you can confide in, and those not. Everyone has an opinion, especially those never having had children. Full with advice.

It is, Sunday. So off I go until tomorrow. Enjoy and be grateful. Until we meet again. Breath..