Tuesday, October 7, 2014

Craaaackkk! Lightning hit and I was jolted awake..the windows rattled and my heart was racing and skipping beats before I could bring myself into reality. I turned to my son as he lay sleeping. Tubes coming from most of his orifice's as he gasped for every breath ..His struggle has lasted so long and has created so much deterioration to his young body. I turn back to the large window in his private room. His immune system is so frail that any tiny germ could take his life. During this journey life has changed so much. 

I have abandoned my own life and yet it was a very normal thing to do, after all he was my son. Many people came and went as we fought to overtake this bacteria. It became my life. I wasn't able to work anymore on my own career and life. I gave up dating and going out with my friends. I refused all social invitations. The wondrous foods and exercise in my life went by the wayside as I became a connoisseur of the Metal Chef of quickie snacks. I have a whole new meaning of Hospital Cafeteria's. I learned rather rapidly the menus, and which days to avoid the food. Now if I were watching my weight I would of looked as gorgeous as Blake Lively on a bad day.. But I couldn't really eat meals my body just couldn't take it. So, mostly I became best friends with the vending machines and Cafeteria. I brought my books, mu manuscripts, my laptop and my ipad to keep me company. When I was crying, praying or cursing and making deals with God. Gee, I forgot that even if I were sincere and honest; chances of me following through was next to none. For almost everyday we faced new challenges. One organ would start up again and another would shut down. They pushed every antibiotic known to man and some not yet available to everyone.

The rain is now caressing the windows and the thunder snaps. The wind sounds like the moaning of lost souls as it travels past our windows. It is a wicked night ...

1 comment:

  1. This Alexia is so painful to read, yet you were strong enough to live/survive it. I have no words ...